The Importance of being Earnest oops I mean Visible

Given the media attention, the rampant trans negative rhetoric that seems to appear in multiple media sources every single day, it would be easy to make the mistake that trans and gender diverse people have as much visibility in the community as could possibly be needed. I mean it’s now a few years since the notorious headline proclaiming the transgender tipping point.

Perception is always different from reality though. In reality this is far from the truth. There are lots of issues that go into making visibility an issue in the trans space.

One of these issues is that a significant number of trans people when they transition they choose to go “stealth”, which means, just going about living their lives in the gender identity and expression that most authentic for them. Sounds pretty reasonable really. What happens of course is that they become invisible as a part of the LGBTIQ community. I understand the need for some people to do this, it is most certainly their choice and prerogative to make. It is absolutely not my, or anyone else’s for that matter to make that choice for them.

The choice to disclose one’s trans history, gender identity, gender expression is private and personal choice. It should not be forced, cajoled, manipulated or pressured by others. There are many factors that go into such a choice, including: personal safety, personal capacity, job security, financial security, and many other life circumstances. It is absolutely and positively a personal decision to be made by the individual whose trans history it is.

Having said all of that, I maintain that visibility is super important to the trans community. It is vital in being accepted, it is pivotal in redressing the negative rhetoric, and it is most certainly incredibly important for trans people just daring to sneak a look and beginning to emerge from the closet.

Personally, for reasons I am not completely clear on, I have the capacity to be out and visible in pretty much all situations I am in. I simply don’t do stealth. I am out and I am proud and ready to advocate for myself and others at any chance I get.

I believe it is important that I do this, who knows there may come a time when I lose this capacity and I would hate to have let the chance pass to change things for myself and my community.

Something I have learned as I have travelled this out and visible journey is you just never know how and when you make a difference for people that you just don’t know about. Sure there are lots of times you get to be public and loud and obvious and they are important and needed things to do. But sometimes those times that you haven’t even realised you’ve made an impact can be really powerful. I learned of a time tonight where my being authentic and visible has had an impact on someone I had never even met.

I was at my beauty therapist getting a treatment tonight and we were happily chatting and she told me about one of her clients who had come in and fearfully shared they were wanting to come out and transition. I’ve been seeing this therapist for over a year and we’ve had quite the few frank conversations about gender identity, expression, transition coming out and all manner of things. It was lovely and wonderful to hear her tell how she was able to relay her experiences and conversations with me and my journey in an encouraging way to this client.

I don’t really know the impact, it may be minimal or it may be massive. It could just be what that person needed to help them make the huge decision about whether to transition or not.

The key thing is for me is that it’s not about me, but, it is about advocacy, about changing the conversations, about doing my bit in making a world where people feel safe to make a decision to live authentically and to be their true selves.

Being visible, for me, is vitally important, and if you have the capacity to do so I encourage you to be as visible and out and proud as you can. We have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or to hide. Yes we must, absolutely must look after our personal safety and security first and foremost, and, whenever and wherever we can, I believe we should be out, visible, proud and FABULOUS!